And while I am trying to focus on all of the disturbing things that could be happening in some random and far away apartment tonight, out comes my little jammie clad Ernie, in his snugly fitted Carolina Blue polar fleece footie pajamas. In his bed maybe 4 minutes before emerging sheepishly to report his need for water.
Ernie: (smiling and avoiding eye contact) Mommy, my tummy hurts, I need water.
Me: You have water by your bed.
Ernie: Maybe I need something to eat. Maybe a peanut butter and jam sandwich.
Sigh. Grateful for distraction from dark scary place in my head, I make sandwich and hope that he will eat it ALL or at least that I won't, if he doesn't. Remove crusts and deliver in favorite orange bowl to Ernie roosting smugly in "his" corner of the couch.
Ernie: Mommy turn Sesame Street on for me.
Me(Too tired to offer reminder to say "please"): I am turning on the timer and not the TV. In 5 minutes, you are going back to bed. Now please, eat up. Mommy is tired and wants to go to bed too.
Ernie takes 4 bites in 5 minutes and calmly allows me to return him to bed.
Aaaah, resume worrying for a whole 35 seconds before next visit....more than enough time to contemplate PBJ crusts and leftover sandwich.
Ernie: Mommy? I need my baby and my monkeys. And my diggers book.
We search and gather, returning to his room to position all the "nai nai" gear.
Me: Good Night Buddy. Stay in your bed. I will come back in 20 minutes and whatever you need, I will get it for you. But only if you stay in bed. I love you.
Ernie: Love you mommy.
I sadly suspect that he is upon the age for discovering fear. He requested I look out the window to see what was out there before returning to his little nest. God, I mean and hope to always be someone he will come to for assurance.
10:54 p.m. Andy has phoned. Unscathed, he is in his truck, and on his way. That bastard. I can't believe he is cheating :)~
Time to go Nai Nai
The big risk is not so much serial killers but money launderers. They offer to buy your white elephants then send you a check for too much money and ask you to write them a check back for $100 less - for your trouble.
ReplyDeleteSo he was not out getting some action...
ReplyDeleteThat is a weird time to be willing to meet someone.. I have done transactions on craigslist many times and so far still alive :)
ReplyDeleteLOL Have you ben watching too much Dexter? Glad he is safe and sound.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm craving PB&J's and serial killers. Glad no one was maimed or killed.
ReplyDeleteCraig's List rocks. 10:30pm is just wierd. I rememebr doing those things when I was young....always with the water....maybe I was dehydrated??
ReplyDeleteOh wow.. that is a weird time??
ReplyDeleteI would have been shitting my pants as well.
Glad he made it home safe and sound, and that he was NOT getting some action on the side!!!
Very sweet with you and your little man. I eat the crusts too!
Have I told you lately that I love you???
Did he at least come home with the table? If not then I might worry.. silly girl
ReplyDeletexxx
I'm with Vodka did he have the table? Then you can tell yourself, despite the ridiculous hour, that once again men are just crazy! Not neccessarily cheating. I am so having a PB&J as my bfeeding snack tonight. Yummy!
ReplyDeleteOkay people. It was just fun material to suggest the alternative worry to the serial killer. I do not fret that anybody in hour house has additional energy for sex or conversation with anyone. Andy did return home with table. My only semi-real concerns were that he might be sodomized or murdered. After seeing the changeling, my fear for things of this nature is greater than before. Thanks for the support.
ReplyDeleteThe Changeling is that disturbing movie with Angelina where her son disappears.
ReplyDeleteI wish we all had a purple crayon and could just draw things how we wanted them/needed them to be like Harold.
ReplyDeleteYou have issues...funny to read about issues.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if picking up a drafting table at 10:30 is all that bad. But take it from me, you don't want to pick up "Hot Roommate's Dryer Lint" at that hour. "Barely Used Ball Gag" is also something you should only pick up during daylight.
ReplyDeleteThe ending of this post? CLASSIC. M'lady. Well done!
ReplyDeleteBTFW, why are you getting wried comments in Chinese? And I swear it is not from me. I can understand though, and it is NOT a curse or even an insult. Or trying to sell you stuff. The rough translation: Life can be low/mundane/laborious, but you need to set your sights/goals high/with integrity.
I think 10:30 is a perfectly acceptable time to make a business transaction with a total stranger.
ReplyDeleteI do it ALL the time.
Just yesterday I bought a bra from a one legged tranny at 11:30 pm. Better deals to be had...