Monday, January 25, 2010

What's in a name?

Aside from the sweet photos of our boys gazing in awe at the tree choppers with their bucket trucks and tree shredders, today's trip to the park left me with this to reflect upon:  Uber cutie mom in perfectly fitting work out clothes yelling through cupped hands to her boy.    "Laney,  look whose here:   Its Beckett, Wrigley, and Mason."
It wasn't the uber thin and fit body or the very cute hairdo.
It was not that she was freshly showered and clearly had not worked out in those clothes.
It was not that she had in deed worked out in some other equally cute outfit, been allowed to shower and change into a fresh cute little "exercise suit".
It was not any of those things that inspired evil judgment.

It was the names of the children that irked me:  pretentious and so terribly common in these parts, these days.

I realize back in the day that mothers of some distinguished lineage might name their children using their maiden name.  That is deep with pride and meaning.  But this trend that attempts to emulate regal heritage does sooooo the opposite.

I do equally take issue with the made up names and "unique" spellings.  As a teacher, I must confess that we would look at our rosters before they year even began. With laughter and near 100% accuracy, we would predict what type of child and parents we would be working with.

Having grown up with a seriously fucked up name in the south, I believe, vests me with the authority to judge all name selections and assignments.  People,  your child's name is not the best place for you to express yourself.  It is THEIR name.

Also,  I must ask.  If you were expecting a baby and planning to name your child the same as a friend's child (just because you like the name), would you ask how they felt about it?  Not ask permission, just check in?


  1. Jesus christ.... you hit this shit on the nose. Which is what I would like to do to those parents. Little La'shanta and Griffon are not appropriate names. I used to beat up kids with fucked up names (not really I beat up kids equally). However, I have a fucked up last name. Fucked up as in retarded people can't pronounce an easily pronounced name. There is no fucking C in there. Sheesh. Breath. Loved the post.

  2. I always hated those mothers. I mean seriously, did they really spend anytime actually mothering? Or was it all about them? Which totally explains why litte Laney is such an asshat.

    I hate fucked up names for kids. In my family though it doesn't really matter what you name your kid, somebody's going to come up with some screwed up nickname that will stick with them forever. But it works out great when you forget which one you're yelling at. They answer to almost anything.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  3. I'm thinking of Jayden for our baby . . . I mean Hayden . . . Wait, Cayden . . . xoxoxoxo

  4. This post is right to the point. I share the same sentiment. However, let's make this disclaimer (so we don't upset our online friends): if we know you, whatever is said here does not apply. There. ;-)

    Beckett. Oh my.

    Mora's comment made me LOL.


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