Saturday, February 18, 2012

A Jewel in the Debris (Kristin Armstrong)

The greatest gift of my divorce is in allowing me to create a faith-filled home in which to raise my children. As mothers, we all worry about how everything imapcts the hearts and minds of our children. The magnitude of divorce inthis sense is utterly overwhelming.

Yet, I have gleaned a priceless jewel inthe debris. For better or worse, my children look to me. They look to me to see how merciful and generous I am in good times. They look to me to see how strong and faithful I am in bad times. They watch, they listen, and they model. Years from now I want my children to remember a childhood lived well, with a mother who was loving, consistent, devoted, funny, disciplined, playful, and totally present and emotionally available.

I carry the weight of that responsibility like a small, smooth stone in my pocket. Always there, always a reminder of how my choices affect my healing matters greatly, how love ultimately prevails, and how the indisputable essence of forgiveness frees us all.

May the peace of our children be great.

My greatest hope is that my children will have the freedom and confidence to be who they are, to know and honor their truths. To act with love for themselves and others. Today, I am especially proud and grateful to learn to let them have their feelings without needing to ignore, fix, change, or feel them as if they are my own. I can just show up for them and love them, one day at a time,even when I don't understand or agree. I love you boys so much and now I aim to love you as well as a person can.♥

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