Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Pain in the ass/Cry Baby Tuesday

I have been passing hours and days holding my wilted little angel whose fever will not break against maximum alternating doses of Tylenol and Motrin. With a husband, a home, clean clothes, enough food, and health insurance, I still find myself feeling helpless. Big Shocker. Knowing we can drive our fully functional and insured van to see our wonderful pediatrician at a moments notice or receive care at a nice hospital only minutes away, I worry the unthinkable.

How do mothers without:  cars, insurance, access to any form of do they manage? I recall images of third world mothers holding listless and rapidly deteriorating babies with scarce possibility for medical attention and I feel sick in my heart. And then I think, hey, we have mothers here in this country in similar circumstance. It really is too awful to think of and yet I feel it my duty to do so.

And again, my hope is that my worry will evolve from blog to action at some point.

Thank you for stopping by. I miss you all so much. I miss your words, wit, cynicism, rage, insight, compassion, logic, creativity. Thank you for hanging on with me and for the emails and comments that let me know, I am not alone.

Oh, another troubling thought: what about those moms without computers and bloggy friends to send encouraging emails, offers, phone numbers, and comic relief?

Part two of the silver lining is that with a sick one and a half year old and a very able 3 year old (whom I have officially removed from the 6 hours/week of preschool) I am kept too busy and tired to stress much over marriage.  Because... it is a lot of work(for me) to be married.  It is hard and I choose it.  But seriously, I think it is smilar to working out.  You don't just get in shape and then magically stay that have to keep at it every freaking minute, nearly...or you slide easily into destructive patterns that yield unsatisfactory and immediate results.  

Acting kindly and with forgiveness toward someone who has disappointed is a kind of love I struggle to provide, for adults(Ahem...that I am married to).


  1. Love to you and your sick little one. Yes, marriage is a full time job in and of itself.

    And my heart goes out to those other moms as well.


  2. That last bit about marriage being hard work, and (importantly "and" not "but") work you choose is really lovely. Wrote it down. Will refer back. The working out comparison is so apt and clarifying. Thank you.

  3. My youngest had a couple of stubborn fevers that I couldn't seem to break - it was awful. Be strong, it will be fine, just hard.

  4. I agree, it's good work. Hope everything gets back to normal soon.

  5. I hear you ... I don't know how single parents do it. I know I would have serious problems. Hope your little one feels better soon.

  6. Thinking of you!!!.....and is TOTALLY like working out:)

  7. (( BIG CHINOOK HUGS AND LOVE TO YOU)) my wonderful, amazing bloggy friend!!

    Thinking of you, and hoping your little one is much better soon, and you are back to your awesome self in no time.

    Miss you like crazy!!

  8. {{{{HUGS}}}} Hope your little one gets better soon. Will not forget about you. So on days when it gets too much, don't worry about not being here. Will be thinking of you.

  9. I ♥ U! I miss you. Sending you positive thoughts. I love my husband and think he's hot, but marriage is hard even when it's easy (at least for me).

  10. My heart aches for the struggles of moms who cannot provide what they want and need for their kids and who have to worry that their kids will not be taken care of.

    I am so sorry things are so tough for you now. I hope your little one feels better soon!

    Marriage and Motherhood are impssibly hard and imposibly worth it!

    I miss you but will be thinking of you and your family and will be here when you get back or you can SO email me if you need anything or call if you need to chat. I will send my number!



  11. I has been a bit since this post, I hope the babe is better

    Marriage is the hardest thing ever..not sure if it is worth it sometimes


Your thoughts are welcome here. As long as they are kind. Or maybe just not unkind.