Fuck those GROWING piles of receipts, laundry, clothes to grow into, clothes to pass on, toys and books for now, for when they are older, and waiting to be passed on. I am a stay-home mom to our boys, who will be small only once. Honestly, the boundary of going to work would be easier than this infinite cycle of responsibility and awareness for all matters household and family. It is my/our good fortune to experience in full, these precious first years. For each hour of sleep I am recompensed, the enjoyment of these days is exponentially greater. It seems I may be due some back pay.
To my relief, the piles wait for and mock me. While not wishing this away,
I do have my fantasies:
1) walking 3 feet without tripping over a dog, ball, racetrack, or person
2) ONE short break from the boys,dogs, husband, and house
3) going poo with the door closed and without explanation
4) ONE short break with my sweet sexy Andy
5) some more frequent urges to shag my husband, let him shag me, whatever...He is gorgeous, patient, cool, hot, yummy smelling....uh oh..I think I just felt something similar to an urge.
I like to believe that if fantasies #1-4 were fulfilled, #5 would be the result.
Path Of Least Resistance: generous, lazy, spiritual, or just ridonculously short-sighted?
PS~If you have stopped by because Michele awarded me "Kick Ass Blogger" and you trusted I was going to give some good blog, I apologize because
Great post. Good luck with that whole pooping by yourself thing.. But don't forget to wipe.
ReplyDeleteDon't even get me started on the impact of wiping while multi-tasking. Hey mepsipax, your comments are all kind and benevolent. Come on. That is not why I picked you. If not you, who will tell me to shut the fuck up?
ReplyDeleteYou know, if you invite the kids in for your poop sessions, they may not enjoy it as much as they think they will. That may in turn allow for future poop sessions without fear of intrusion!
ReplyDeleteEvidence supports the theory that the olfactory glands and/or a preference for unscented air develop some time after age 3.
ReplyDeleteGreat reminder... I have been definitely trying to multi task way too much last night.... this time does go too fast.
ReplyDeleteI just hoping I remember the dirty dreams I was having last night, tonight... it will make my husband happy. ;)
Emmy, when pleasing your husband, that is the perfect time to uni-task.
ReplyDeleteWell if mepsipax isn't going to do it, I supposed I have to. Shut the hell up? (I have to use a question mark 'cause otherwise I get all worked up.) Ew. Now I feel dirty and mean. I didn't mean it, Pookie.
ReplyDeleteThanks Elly Lou. I needed that. I was hoping you would pull through. Freaking mepsipax. Oh yeah, you are a real dick. not.
ReplyDeleteMagda! We are the same age! I still cannot poop in peace. If I shut and lock my door I can still feel THEM breathing, waiting, right outside the door. And Mr. Monk has been asking me what my favorite food is every single fucking day. I really wanted to say sometimes: None of your business!! I don't know why of all of your hopes and dreams so far we only focused on poop dream. What does that say about us?
ReplyDeleteHey you kick ass blogger you! I thouroughly enjoyed and can relate! They are only little once, and I had years to sleep and have sex, who needs it (hahaha)and I don't think I have been to the bathroom by myself in five years!
ReplyDeleteHope you can come visit sometime!
www.ajourneytotheson.blogspot.com
If I had to poop with the door open I wouldn't...I would never ever poop again. In fact I feel violated just typing this.
ReplyDeleteAnd also like a peeping tom at the end of this post...like some perv lurking in the bushes watching you get the Urge.
It is better and easier in the long run to just give in and enjoy the moment ... but you do still need time to yourself or you'll go INSANE! And I used to hide in the bathroom faking horrible "pooping" problems when my husband got home from work so I wouldn't have to admit I just needed a break and was reading US Weekly. : )
ReplyDeleteSee? I told you it would improve.
ReplyDeleteAnd you can avoid the piles by clenching your buttocks whilst walking.
I love this post. I, too, need this nudge in my life (while still holding on to my wishes). you RAWK!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter has learned to open doors. Now even if someone else is home to watch her I still can't go po alone because she insists on being able to open the door. If I lock it she screams, cries, pounds.
ReplyDeleteWork is way easier than staying at home.
ReplyDeleteGreat award!! I love this one....
ReplyDelete