Friday, January 15, 2010

Enough Already

It seems as if only last week, I griped over a fresh new shipment of more phonebooks.  They come in sets of 3.  Yes 3 different ones with each delivery.  Who the fuck uses a phone-book?  We don't. You'd think with our no soliciting request in 3 languages and colors, we would deter fliers, business cards, and unwanted people on our doorstep.  We have gone so far as to disconnect the doorbell.  And some people actually beat the door OR yell "Hellllloooo".  Really?  Fucking hello. 
The dogs go ballistic  jumping and growling at  intruder through barely opened door.  Holding them back, and assuring babies that everything is ok (which it is not!!), I explain through gnashed teeth the intent of our sign. Some solicitor retards rebuttal with "Oh, I am not selling anything, though."  To that I offer a response that I hope will serve others.  "What those signs mean to say is, "If we don't know you and you wish to share any information or service that we have not requested, please go fuck yourself somewhere elsemove on".

Would one of these signs be more effective? Fucking-A


  1. Fuckers. Why not just let the dogs at 'em? Have you considered wiring the doorbell so it give them a wee shock? Oh I know! Have your husband answer the door naked except for a tiara!

  2. I usually just answer the door and act like I have Tourette's Syndrome.

    Works every time.

  3. Bastards!!!
    I have a sign too. It doesn't help worth a shit either.
    I remember when Trinity was a baby, and SLEEPING ~ I used to come unglued!!!

  4. i think only a mote will do... with sharks, alligators, and piranhas
    oh and leeches to
    with eels

  5. If people make it up our driveway..they have to get through the dogs...the alarm system and my husband topless with a gun holstered...yeah our door matt reads Go Away.

  6. Yup, they love starting with I am not selling anything. Yeah right. If you are not selling anything, I am not a sex-starved repressively angry woman. Magda, you should use THE word on them: Fucktards!


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