I apologize in advance for the cluster-fuck of pictures. Today, I embrace my fondness for and unstoppable urge to say the word fuck. Hopefully, with minimally adverse affect on those of you with more able vocabularies.
Unable to organize the photos, write in the giant and vacant spaces beside and under pictures, insert fucking captions, I am starting to feel more hostile and the glow of my achievement is quickly waning. My achievement: creating holiday enjoyment, ritual, and memories, doing what I have never done before.Hours later, here I sit repeatedly attempting the same unsuccessful tactics to insert info detailing what made this endeavor so successful by FT standards. What is so frustrating is that I am sure it is quite simple with a bit more time and rest and a few less interruptions for the sake of focus.
First off, I would have never considered making a gingerbread house with a child. For me this would have been an activity requiring complete focus and solitude.
The project began when friend-hero(
Then, knowing me in all of my fucktardedness, she thought it best to hot glue gun the graham crackers to the posterboard house for me. Ok, I'm feeling extra confident at this point.
Along with my prefab house(which I know for sure I could make by myself)she sent me home with a baggy of assorted candy and marshmallows. I am the Einstein that thought to break out the pretzel sticks to give our little chateau some definition.
So, here is what we did:
We used white frosting to cover the house.
Threw in a little green food color to make some green for the tree and the grass.
Candies were applied here and there in no particular fashion or pattern that I can identify.
Pretzels filled the gaps between the graham crackers, made windows and trees. They were able to stand after being stabbed into the tiny marshmallows.
Finally, tons and tons of sprinkles. Ernie's favorite parts were: SPRINKLES, sticking the Santa wrapped chocolate on the tree and the peppermint swirly candies onto the house. Marshmallow stabbing got some good laughs. It was so much fun working and playing together, watching immaculate and orderly Andy allow the mess and watching an equally immaculate and orderly Ernie attempting to maintain order over fleeing sprinkles and clingy frosting. Andy announced that next time he would like his own house which is very symbolic of the we way live. Amusing and symbolic and very true. He shall have his own next year.
Great house....
ReplyDeleteIt came out GREAT and I think you did a really awesome job with it!
ReplyDeleteBest part, aside from doing it: Ernie's requests throughout the day to sit at the counter and stare his gingerbread house. He continues to say in the sweetest voice ever,"Make more Danta house? Make more Danta house, nao?" Bert enjoys pointing and grunting and pulling things off. The Danta house has been his first real inspiration to walk. Danta Doz will be here in 10 days....his first real visit to any home I have ever lived. yay
ReplyDeleteIt looks like Santa's sliding off the house! That's a fun way to dismount! :)
ReplyDeleteFucking awesome!
ReplyDeleteGingerbread houses are amazingly difficult ... not one I have ever done has turned out looking all that good. I'm actually planning a gingerbread house photo essay as soon as I can locate my photos.
ReplyDeleteLOL Such a great house and an even more entertaining post!! What are you making next??
ReplyDeleteVery nice it turned out. I'm also not really a projects-with-kids type, it has to happen accidentally if at all.
ReplyDeleteYou are my hero! :)
ReplyDeleteHey! Found your other blog! I'm a bit fuck-tardy there, sorry
ReplyDeleteHope the cake tastes better than it looks
never have I read such a description of tender holiday moments combined with the liberal use of 'the f-word'
ReplyDeleteI think you're creating a new kind of mommy tough talk.
I love that the 3 of you worked on it together. Doesn't it feel zang to take on something that seems like it might be kind of hard and find it to be fun?
I predict 3 houses next year... and maybe a school too?
You should be proud of yourself! Gingerbread house requires a civil ENG degree if you ask me. Yours look very lovely and not slanted/crooked at all. Btw, isn't glue gun awesome? I love mine. Your boys are so adorable. :-)
ReplyDeleteI love love love you abuse of the word Fucktard...love it. And it sounds like I may have the same issue in regards to how long it took me to format my last post. I think my words were...."it felt like I was pulling the damn tree out of my ass" Ouch!
ReplyDelete