Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Challenge

Saturday,  my morning began with country music (my favorite). With wide open windows and no children or sounds of Baby Einstein, heading west, I felt myself relax and breathe... and then smile for the new and peaceful thoughts that overcame  me.  I felt thankful for our So. Cal. sky; so perfectly blue and for the wind on my face and in my hair. Standing at attention (completely undistracted), I was gripped by the crashing waves, the wind and sun, people jogging, dog walking and bike riding the strand. Friday, while at  the beach (for only the 5th time this year) as I ran the great stretch of sand to the car for a diaper, I was reminded of my great neeeeeeeeed to feel that sand and the sun regularly, and the call to our great Pacific  Ocean.  Fact:  I need space. I can think of no better representation (for me) of open-ness and space than our endless beach.  I prize it equally for its constancy and unpredictability.  This is my Mecca.

During my first 12 years in Los Angeles, I visited the beach several times a week, if not daily. Walking 2-10 miles along the ocean, depending on time and company, biking, playing volleyball, often from sun up to sundown, and swimming when warm enough.  Oh, and sometimes just reading or even laying and doing nothing. While I do not wish to resume a life which allowed so much freedom, I miss the simple (conceptually simple) ritual of beach time activity.

Thrilled that our new camera remained in the van from Thanksgiving (details later:  very good), I snapped a few shots of OUR beach, hoping to capture the vibe.  Overwhelmed, I welcomed these feelings of freshness, freedom, and optimism. I committed myself to keeping the camera handy, with an active intent to report things that please,comfort, inspire, or touch me.

I actually felt excited as I neared my home and family after my very early and short little retreat.  Excited about them.  Excited about offering them a better me.  The photograph is more of a post-it on my soul than a comprehensive or even adequate record of my renewing interlude .

My challenge: to pay attention to all the "good", to force myself to look stare at it and share it.  Even with so much beauty all around me, my unrested eyes and mind sometimes struggle to properly regard it. Weary from continual but essential soul-deadening tasks and isolation, I find this difficult. 

I live 15 minutes from the beach!  The most unique aspect of my respite is that I made myself present for it....and that I have a husband who will encourage more like it.

I was able to celebrate by enjoying sex with my very sexy sweet husband.  Oh, Andy.  I can see you, now.  I can see.  Today, I see and feel so much to be thankful for.


  1. A lovely post. I so wish I lived closer to the ocean. The Atlantic in my case.


  2. Oh I am jealous and so happy you got that time! Hello? Why are you coming here again??? I need to come there. Southern California - beaches - open space -sounds like heaven.


Your thoughts are welcome here. As long as they are kind. Or maybe just not unkind.