I preface this entire entry by saying that there are only a few hours separating my next period from me. Actually, this entire entry is a preface for the entry to follow.
I am sleep deprived,bored out of my fucking mind from the prohibitive schedule for my boys that excludes all adult interaction geared to meet my needs. I have remained home with 2 sick and teething babies 24/7 for the last 10 days. The only interlude: a 3 hour visit with the dentist and her drills, sadly a much needed change of pace.
I LOVE raising my boys. Having even a small amount of waking hours to myself and/or with friends would make it more enjoyable. Also, a little expendable cash for a sitter or housekeeper every once in a while would be outstanding. In justifying my need to Andy, I clarified: Loving it doesn't make me enjoy it 24/7. Even sleeping, eating my favorite foods, playing volleyball, reading, and having sex would lose their appeal if done in this fashion. This is in no way a measure of the comfort and satisfaction of being there for Ernie and Bert(as well as the other choice activities mentioned). I'm Just Sayin...........
In the midst of divorce, now, more than ever, my children look to me. "They look to me to see how merciful and generous I am in good times. They look to me to see how strong and faithful I am in bad times. They watch, they listen, and they model. Years from now I want my children to remember a childhood lived well, with a mother who was loving, consistent, devoted, funny, disciplined, playful, and totally present and emotionally available."(Kristin Armstrong)
Makes perfect sense to me. We all need a break sometimes, even from those things we love.
ReplyDeleteGood luck xx