While attempting to be stealth (difficult for clumsy giant like myself) in preparing the 5 am bottle, an especially menacing spider literally dropped in on me. As I reached to open the microwave, it boldly descended toward my hand, challenging me to not scream. My immediate thought was "I fucking hate spiders". That is simply ridiculous. I don't hate spiders. I have an irrational and acute fear of them. They make me uncomfortable and anxious.
I do hate murderers,pedophiles, animal abusers....
I don't hate mayonnaise. I refuse to eat it.
Similarly, I do not love Baja Fresh. I enjoy it. A LOT!
I love my friends,family, and King Simon(ONLY conditionally, when it suits me, of course).
As a mother of children learning to speak, I hope to model more reasonable language indicative of that gray area I keep hearing so much about. How do I teach, what I myself am still learning?
In the midst of divorce, now, more than ever, my children look to me. "They look to me to see how merciful and generous I am in good times. They look to me to see how strong and faithful I am in bad times. They watch, they listen, and they model. Years from now I want my children to remember a childhood lived well, with a mother who was loving, consistent, devoted, funny, disciplined, playful, and totally present and emotionally available."(Kristin Armstrong)
Old habits die hard, but I get what you are saying. Hate is so strong and love should be precious.
ReplyDeleteLove is equally strong. They are just too powerful to throw around. Its common, but I want to do better.
ReplyDeleteI do, in fact, HATE mayo. :) My kids hear me use words like love & hate all the time - but can easily differentiate between when I'm using them for effect and when I am saying them sincerely. Reminds me of my dad... growing up, whenever I said I "hated" something (or someone) he always corrected me with "dislike."
ReplyDeleteyou know, I am just trying to make a better and different life for my family than I had. There were too many extremes for me. It was overwhelming and incapacitating much of the time. Its not wrong for anyone to say or do. It just feels wrong for me. It will be a tough rule to live by. I 2will not correct my boys, just myself. I need more gray in my life. I need to show my children the gray in this world so they can learn to recognize it. xoxox. I totally hate fucking mayo and spiders!!!
ReplyDeleteGood blog, I like it posts short and sweet and to the point. Something I am not as able to do.
ReplyDeletethanks for stopping by.
Gotta love David Sedaris, not so sure about Bill Maher but hey to each his own. :)