Pain in the ass/Cry Baby Tuesday

I have been passing hours and days holding my wilted little angel whose fever will not break against maximum alternating doses of Tylenol and Motrin. With a husband, a home, clean clothes, enough food, and health insurance, I still find myself feeling helpless. Big Shocker. Knowing we can drive our fully functional and insured van to see our wonderful pediatrician at a moments notice or receive care at a nice hospital only minutes away, I worry the unthinkable.

How do mothers without:  cars, insurance, access to any form of support...how do they manage? I recall images of third world mothers holding listless and rapidly deteriorating babies with scarce possibility for medical attention and I feel sick in my heart. And then I think, hey, we have mothers here in this country in similar circumstance. It really is too awful to think of and yet I feel it my duty to do so.

And again, my hope is that my worry will evolve from blog to action at some point.

Thank you for stopping by. I miss you all so much. I miss your words, wit, cynicism, rage, insight, compassion, logic, creativity. Thank you for hanging on with me and for the emails and comments that let me know, I am not alone.

Oh, another troubling thought: what about those moms without computers and bloggy friends to send encouraging emails, offers, phone numbers, and comic relief?

Part two of the silver lining is that with a sick one and a half year old and a very able 3 year old (whom I have officially removed from the 6 hours/week of preschool) I am kept too busy and tired to stress much over marriage.  Because... it is a lot of work(for me) to be married.  It is hard and I choose it.  But seriously, I think it is smilar to working out.  You don't just get in shape and then magically stay that way...you have to keep at it every freaking minute, nearly...or you slide easily into destructive patterns that yield unsatisfactory and immediate results.  

Acting kindly and with forgiveness toward someone who has disappointed is a kind of love I struggle to provide, for adults(Ahem...that I am married to).