Happy Birthday Ernie!!! Three years ago today, our Ernie graced us with his presence. This little guy so sweet with an old and giant soul has taught us more than we could have imagined. Even with developmental delays in speech, tactile, and gross motor development, he has never lacked in the ways of charm and peace. I am uncertain if there is a person yet who has met him and felt anything but an intense love and appreciation for how gentle and sweet he is. He is both sharp and shy and especially easy on the eyes. I think it is safe to say that we have worshipped him in most every moment of his life. Not just for who he is but for who we gt to be because of him. We comment regularly about what it might be like to have 2 parents dying to serve you and drop everything to help and support you. Two parents who cannot take their eyes from you and assume interest in each and every sound and sight of significance to you.
Having grown up in the scholarly ,pagan, atheist, Jewish, Moslem home, Ernie is the closest thing I know to religion. I cannot compare my love for Bert as they are 2 entirely different relationships. But I do not deny that Ernie delivered us to parenthood and gave us access to the best parts of who we are. I wonder how many mothers feel this way about their first born.
I love you Ernie! Happy Birthday!
By the way, we gave him the best little party ever on Saturday with the 4 families of those who have always been there for him. He was so happy with his day and while he enjoyed the gifts and cupcakes: they were an undeniable second to being surrounded with few and quiet people who cannot resist the urge to laugh and play with him. People who love him. People who love his parents. We had a ball in the enormous jumper. Apparently you are supposed to specify a size. Since I did not, we ended up with the largest Nemo jumper available. That with the dozen orange balloons, and making (but not eating) the cupcakes blew his mind. I am confident that we will remember this celebration fondly for many years, even with only a handful of pictures. Getting to indulge our children when we are able is an immeasurable gift to us.
In the midst of divorce, now, more than ever, my children look to me. "They look to me to see how merciful and generous I am in good times. They look to me to see how strong and faithful I am in bad times. They watch, they listen, and they model. Years from now I want my children to remember a childhood lived well, with a mother who was loving, consistent, devoted, funny, disciplined, playful, and totally present and emotionally available."(Kristin Armstrong)
Amen (with a big A)
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, big guy! He sounds like such an angel. I think the best thing a parent can say about their child is that they like the child as a person. Love is obligatory. Like is by choice. (Does this make any sense?)
ReplyDeleteNow can you please go make more babies? The world needs more Ernies. :-)
When my son was born, I truly learned what passion and love REALLY are. I completely admit I worship the ground my son walks on...and just days away from his 10th birthday I can completely relate to how you feel on celebrating his birth.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the smile tonight and happy birthday to Ernie!
Thanks Nancy. It is a relief to say it out loud. I guess it feels uncomfortable to me like there is an imbalance of some sort.
ReplyDeleteLin, I hear you. My mother is adamant that she "loves" me and clearly disapproving of most every thought or feeling I mistake myself for having. I just don't give a lot of credit to the words "I love you". If I feel loved, I don't need to hear it. And if I don't the words are of no comfort.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to the little one, and big congrats to you. I totally will help you out with those cupcakes...
ReplyDeleteHope he had a wonderful birthday. And this is an absolutely beautiful tribute to your son. He is lucky to have you for his mom
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