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Monday, October 12, 2009

Arachnophilia

Dear Spider,

This evening you were innocently cruising my husband's motorcycle when I haphazardly tore off one of your legs.  I lament that it went down  this way as much as I regret that you are still sitting in the bug catcher awaiting your release.  You see, with a darling boy who is curious and excited about you, I could not let you be.  While I personally, want nothing to do with you, I wish you no harm.

Tonight when I spotted you, I will not lie.  Oddly, I felt excited.  Your overall size was less threatening because of your evident fragility.  So rather than hoovering you(my standard response to being confronted by the likes of you) or screaming for my husband to wipe you out with a quick swipe of a tissue, I took matters into my own hands,  my large awkward nervous hands.  I am new at this and perhaps that too contributed to your mishandling.  You were my first.  I swear.  I am sure I will get better. In an effort to just get it over with, I may have acted in haste as I reached both wanting and apprehensively for you.  For the record, it wasn't that great for me, either.
Upon sighting you moving slowly and only inches from me, I called for my meticulous Ernie to gather his bug catcher so we could study you. I continued eying you while playing with Bert.  But, then Ernie took a little longer to clean and assemble the catcher for YOU.   I  snagged you by the leg to avoid losing sight of you.  Using my thumb and forefinger like tweezers, I(me, Maggie) grasped your footish part (the end of your leg, furthest from your lumpy cephalothorax.  Why I must I recall certain useless words so readily?  cephalothorax??).

How could I have known that, in your desire to flee, you would leave your leg in my possession?  I felt immediately ill and dejected.  Just as we each grew visibly frantic, Ernie appeared with the little cage you are now resting in. 

I am sorry I hurt you.  I am sorry I screamed, herding you, jamming the little cage all around until finally you surrendered.

Take care.

Sincere Apologies,
Maggie

PS~Per my request my husband just released you.  When I asked if you were still alive,  Andy reported you to be fine and assured me that 7 legs should be more than enough.  I hope he is right and that you are well and forgiving.  Thank you for your understanding and for eating our bugs for us.

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