When I arise on the wrong side of the bed, it is in spells, some longer than others. If it is night 1,2, or 3 of sleeping poorly, I usually shake the funk by mid-morning. But by day 4. Not so much.
For me, arising on the wrong side of the bed means I have been awake for more than 3 hours prior to actually emerging for the standard 5am call. My insomnia depletes an already uncertain tolerance for frustration and stress. I become super victim-ish and impossible.
While my body and mind suffer fatigue, the effect is compounded by the evil and dark places hosting my thoughts in those hours. I am left an angry and hot mess.
Today is day 7 of waking around 2:10ish and spinning circles in my head and bed until 5am. ugh.
For anyone contemplating a suggestion of warm milk ,counting sheep or visualization; please, save your self the energy of your keystrokes.
Remember, this is the blog where I allow my self to blow off steam. If you crave something more effervescent, please visit my happy place. (Click here for entry)
In the midst of divorce, now, more than ever, my children look to me. "They look to me to see how merciful and generous I am in good times. They look to me to see how strong and faithful I am in bad times. They watch, they listen, and they model. Years from now I want my children to remember a childhood lived well, with a mother who was loving, consistent, devoted, funny, disciplined, playful, and totally present and emotionally available."(Kristin Armstrong)
I feel for you. I get like that too! And I will also have the added bonus of a sore jaw from clenching my teeth.
ReplyDeleteI hope the chain of bad night's breaks for you soon.
No advice. All I can say is that I have gone through it too. I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteAfter years of night shifts I don't think I will ever be "normal" Good luck
ReplyDeleteThanks for the understanding and compassion. I feel as if those who generally sleep well have difficulty understanding the impact. Even if I feel calm and have had a good day and ample exercise, it can happen....not to falsely imply that I have exercised since kids.
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