Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Conditional Love

So we are planning our first real trip as a family for an entire week. The sweet little lamb of a dog, who once contributed to my life's structure and joy, now, represents another demand on energy and finances. Honestly, it would be easier and less expensive to put him to sleep than to get him boarded for around 50$ a night.

As a mother of two little under the age of 3, I appreciate (the idea of) animals, but no longer want the responsibility of caring for one that is awake,wanting attention,walks, or food. Lets just say, I like him when he is asleep and clean. Poor little guy with  severe skin allergies, Cushings disease, and only one eye. A neediness that compelled me to rescued him 8 years ago.  Now vexed by his constant licking, scratching, pacing, panting and circling my ankles while breathing his 13 year old doggie air on me, I need to afford him due compassion and patience. My contemptible banishment of him for the burden of his discomfort in likelihood is as linked to my exhaustion as to my upbringing. What a regrettable circumstance, to have a "master" treating you as despicable just for showing distress.

I suppose what saddens me most, is that with only his desire to please and to be cared for, this dog serves as a reminder of how disappointing I really am. Really? Do I need reminding?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Your thoughts are welcome here. As long as they are kind. Or maybe just not unkind.