The Facelift

Just last week, I almost paid for a cutie blog face-lift, basic, you know: minimal down time, least invasive.  New acquaintances would never be able to tell.  Too afraid to dive into my own HTML, I was going to pay 40$ to have my background and fonts changed.  I also contemplated and researched replacing my sweet little orange dinosaur made by Ernie at age 2.5 with some "clever" favicon.

My pursuit for commitment to services and detailed tasks in the name of becoming a true blogger are defining characteristics of a fucktard blogger.

Last night, while not sleeping, some more, I mentally invented Auto-thesauraus.
Why have I not yet stumbled upon such a function?  If it is not yet in existence, why? There  are certain words in dire need of retirement from my vocabulary, aside from fuck, shit, and god damn which still have a lot of life in them, as far as I am concerned. One day, when I am well rested and allowed to interact outside cyber and toddler worlds, I believe my higher than average abilities in language maybe restored.  I enjoy great quantities of time cruising online thesauri(that is queer but correct, i think) to assign substitutes for my 3rd grade and overworked vocabulary.  Without these words at the root of all my N*V*DO(noun verb direct object) sentences, I am lost. I have initiated my list for submission to the auto-thesaurus function, which would seek and automatically replace listed words and mark for approval.

• Like
• Love
• Constantly
• Hate
• Never
• Thought
• Believe
• Always
• Constantly
• Got
• Was
• Feel
• Constantly
• Do
• Get
• Seem
• and of course....Fuck
  

Next, I shall search a function that would diversify sentence structures and complexities, Wouldn't I be all set.  Oh wait,  there is the tiny matter of content.  Auto-blog.  That is the answer.  Where is the auto-blog function?  Maybe they could make an F13 for fucktard keyboards.