H.S.

So, its not as if Howard Stern is the worst looking person in the world, but there are times when I wish I felt I resembled him less. When I take the time to "fix" my hair, it’s nice enough and I can hide my cowlicks and receding hairline/male pattern balding to look quite female. Often I am too tired or busy and allow my hair to dry naturally. That coupled with no make-up...well its just very Howard Stern. Regularly, my husband will look at me thinking perhaps nothing at all. And if my hair is in its natural state, I feel compelled to ask him if Howard’s people called. He dutifully obliges me with the anticipated response of, " Yes Maggie, he needs his hair back."

Hot or not?

Which is worse, when you know your haircut is lame and someone’s remark substantiates your insecurity OR when you think your do is hot and a comment (intended to be harmless and still) is suggestive of unhotness. Even now, when I treat myself to clean, freshly colored, and cut hair, I laugh as I recall an exchange that, almost 10 years ago, went something like this: Benevolent friend, Stephanie: Oh. You got your hair cut. So……(longish pause) How do you like it? Me: I don’t know. (I did, but I don’t now) Some self esteem might have allowed me to respond with something fun and positive like “Oh its great, this is exactly how I like it” I like to employ some version of this comment for any occasion in which it could have a similar effect. Occasionally, we find ourselves bored enough to spontaneously rehash our haircut dialog for a giggle. Some additional possibilities: Oh, so you got a new suit? (Essential Longish Pause) Do you like it? So, that’s your engagement ring. (ELP) Do you like it? So, this is your blog. (ELP) Do you like it? If you can think of any others, please share them in the comment box. It is so much easier to write only about long-lasting pain.