What I Meant to Say Wednesday

While wrestling a shrieking Bert who has given himself what we call the "poop speedo"  or "sauce bucket".   Wishing for ear plugs and an extra arm to wipe sweat from my brow as I struggle to change his creamy and copious poop diaper.
What I said :  Ernie, How about if you wait until I finish changing your brother to tell me about that book?  It will be easier for mommy to hear and answer you.


What I might have thought for one brief moment:   Please oh please be quiet and don't ask,tell, or show me anything for at least 10 minutes.  Nothing.  Just 10 tiny fucking quiet minutes. No, on second thought, make that 10 silent minutes. I promise to immediately resume with our tired and circular Q&A sessions.
 

Gesturing to the cart return 15 feet away, while pushing my baby in the errant cart which I recovered from the market parking lot,  What I said to the able-bodied and childless woman leaving her cart behind someone else's car:  Would it be OK if I put your shopping cart in that cart return for you?

What I meant to say:  Are you seriously that lazy and oblivious that leaving a cart behind a person's car seems a good idea?

As if it were no problem at all, she responded "Sure". 
And off I went pushing the 2 carts.   Really??

What I said to Andy:  I am going to take my shower.  I will enjoy it more if the kids engage in something outside of the bathroom and even away from the door. 


What I might have liked to say:   If you keep the children happy busy  while I take a shower (and a minute to myself ), I will be more friendly and enjoyable.  And if not, I may lose my shit.


If you feel the need to openly confess and laugh about any passive aggressive treasures of your own, feel free to join in and link up for What I Meant to Say Wednesdays with Chief  and SupahMommy.