Porn Flakes

As a first time subscriber and cable rookie I am enjoying exploration of the high-tech remote control and the infinite potential for  time frittering.  In my lazy search for Real Time with Bill Maher, I entered the word "Real".  To my surprise, a show called Real Sex was returned as the top result. So,I had a little look-see, just because.  How could I not? This was on Tuesday, I think.


Anyway, it wasn't, at all, what I had previously deemed porn to be.  It was an attractive couple having normal sex in their home.  There was no camera flaunting at  points of entry or hairy stuff.   No excessive moaning or dirty talking or unreasonable positions and accessories.  And, well, I found it kind of hot.  And this pleases me.  Because, while I am quite vulgar at times, I become squeamish about other people's nudity in my presence or line of sight.


So, Saturday after a nice day at the zoo, the boys have eaten and fallen asleep early.  Andy and I enjoy some time to ourselves, reading and on the computer.   And it is possible to actually spend some time together. 


Here is the scene:  Both boys  went happily to bed without baths or fresh sheets.
I am fresh from the shower(fairly atypical, since I prefer morning showers...on Tuesdays.  kidding)
Our sheets are crisp and still warm from the dryer with no baby skids(barring permanent ones).
Andy is maintaining  campaign for hotness status.


I approach and confess my discovery of and interest in "the porn" and invite him to watch with me.
AND THEN, we got totally bogued on porn.  I demand to know who is responsible for porn scheduling.  Seriously.  How can this be? Saturday night  at 11:oo and  no porn?? Isn't that prime time for making out or beating off.  We found some queer adult soap opera called Zane's Sex Chronicles.  Every vignette featured a couple in which one person wanted to but the other didn't (too realistic).  We watched, waited and laughed until finally........... an especially un-hot and retarded sex scene.  A lady visits a barber shop and gets her Barbara Bush styled. She says gross things.  And then they do it.   WHATEVER.


Anyway, our mutual dismay and  outrage for the network connected us perhaps as much as a good love  sex scene might have.