Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Give Me My Crown Back

Unrelated  to any hard partying, sex tapes, or topless photo shoots, I have lost my crown. I feel so naked without it.  While I feel no shame over the loss of my crown, I admit I feel a little, over having one in the first place.

I, unwittingly, relate crowns to elderly people and  hillbillies, and beauty queens.  And since I am neither officially a beauty queen nor octogenarian, I am feeling a little bit Okie. Fortunately mine is a molar and the crown is white rather than the traditional silver or gold.  What feels more backwoods (besides sucking tepid coffee through a used straw) is the remaining gruesome knob of a tooth that is revealed when I pull back my cheek. I try to distract myself.  But,  like a moth to the flame, my tongue is beckoned to the jagged and hypersensitive nub of a tooth.

In contrast to the beauty queens who frequently forfeit their crowns,  my new more lustrous crown shall be restored this Friday.

Maybe I will revisit the matter of more regular flossing.


  1. I hope it goes well, been lucky enough not to have had a crown of any sort, or a sex tape or anything else you mentioned... I need to get a

  2. I once told someone I was saving for a crown and she looked at me rather strangely. I realized she thought I was saving for the kind you wear on your head and not in your mouth.

  3. Thanks for sharing the "saving for a crown" story. How funny! Its kind of too good to be true. I wished it were mine.

  4. Eh, I hate when I lose a crown or worse, the whole thing cracks and tries to fall apart!

    Nice to meet you!


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